Wedding Planning - How to Write Personal Wedding Vows

Wedding vows serve as an intimate moment during your ceremony to express your love, commitment and promise to one another. Writing your own wedding vows gives you the chance to personalise this moment.

SET THE TONE WITH YOUR PARTNER

First you want to set the tone. You have decided to step away from using traditional vows and want to write something that comes from the heart and is about your relationship.

Together you can decide how long your vows are going to be. You can discuss if you want to add elements of lightheartedness or inside jokes. You might decide to keep it more sentimental.

MAKE TIME TO REFLECT

Take some time to reflect on your relationship and how it makes you feel. Start with a statement about who your partner is to you; your best friend, your lover, your partner in crime.

What did you think when you first saw them?

What do you have now that you didn't have before you met?

What do you miss most when you're apart? 

Can you think of a funny or touching experience that put your partner in a new light? 

What goals and values do you both have?

What about your partner inspires you? 

What promise can you make to solidify and encapsulate your devotion? 

What are you most looking forward to about married life? 

THE PROMISE

What promises do you want to make to your partner? Mention ways that you will continue to show your love. You can use words like ‘I promise’, ‘I vow’ and ‘I pledge’. Make promises that you can keep, avoid promising perfection, make it real and down to Earth.

SEEK ADVISE FROM YOUR CELEBRANT

Talk to your celebrant about what vows are required by law. In New Zealand you must include “I [name] take you [partner’s name], to be my legal [wife/husband/partner]”, or something similar, to each other at some point in the ceremony. Your celebrant will also be able to structure your ceremony.

WRITE YOUR VOWS EARLY

It can take time before you feel completely satisfied with what you have written. You might have several drafts. Give yourself plenty of time, after all it is your wedding so you want to be putting in your best efforts. Start writing your vows around the same time that you start looking for a celebrant.

Wedding Planning Timeline - How to plan a wedding

What’s your wedding game plan - from the moment you get engaged, what comes next?

12- 18 MONTHS BEFORE

To get started set a budget and write a list of all the costs that you are going to have over the next few months (there are some helpful wedding cost checklists on Pinterest which you can download for free). Try to be specific with how much you want to spend on each part of your wedding. For example, photography may be really important to you so this might be an area where you splurge a little but you might need to save money somewhere else to make up for this.

Start saving for your wedding! One of the most common costs that aren’t accounted for are deposits from your vendors. When a Bride and Groom ask to book me I have a $500 deposit which is non-refundable, a lot of vendors will have a similar upfront cost.

Once you have an idea of the budget you can start writing a guest list. Depending on numbers, this might mean some changes to your budget. Start with close family members, close friends and close co-workers because these are the people who you can’t imagine your wedding without.

Next comes the venue and setting a date. This is a biggy and can take a little bit of time and research. You’ll need to know your budget and guest count before you can confirm a venue. There are two main things to consider, the first being the location and the second being do you want the venue to cater for both your ceremony and reception.

10 - 12 MONTHS BEFORE

Let the fun begin! Once you have confirmed a date and venue you can start looking for things like a dress, photographer, celebrant, hair stylist, make up artist, florist, cake and reception entertainment.

You might decide to throw an engagement party or send gifts to your best friends asking them to be your bridesmaids.

6 - 8 MONTHS BEFORE

You’ll want to give your guests plenty of notice so make sure you send out save the date invites. Queue cute wedding stationary! It’s usually around 4 months when you send the final wedding invites.

Your hair and makeup artist may ask you to book in a trial, this is a good time to start thinking about the styles you want and book in a time to see them.

4 MONTHS BEFORE

If your vendors are organised they will start asking for a timeline of events. I try to encourage couples to talk their timeline through with me so I can make sure enough time is set aside for photos. This is also a time to start finalising seating plans and the dinner menu for your reception.

1 - 2 MONTHS BEFORE

As you move closer to the wedding start thinking about your vows and speeches, otherwise you might find yourself on Google frantically trying to write these a few nights before the wedding.

Apply for a wedding license. In New Zealand you’ll need to arrange your license at least 3 working days before you get married. It expires after 3 months, at around 1-2 months before the wedding this is a good time to arrange this so it isn’t a last minute stress.

Have your final gown fitting and bring your dress home! Make any last minute adjustments with vendors and book any beauty appointments that you will need a week or so before the wedding. This is a great time to pamper yourself and take some time off.

Bohemian Style Wedding at The Milk Station - Georgie and Andrew

I'm so excited to share images from Georgie and Andrew's wedding with you all! I shot these alongside Jenny Siaosi at The Milk Station in Otaki. The day was so perfect and these two were just the sweetest to photograph!